Caring
by Christine Writer
Summary: Natasha knew that Hawkeye might not be the same once he returned from Loki's power. Can Hawkeye prove it to her, and more importantly to himself? Movie based. Spoilers! Oneshot. I don't own Avengers.


Anger. Frustration. Confusion. All of these and more raged through Hawkeye as he came to consciousness. His wrists and feet were restrained. Why? He flexed and strained, but they didn't pull free. An unfamiliar sense of panic washed over him. He didn't want to open his eyes. He didn't know what would meet them if he did.

A calming touch, warm, closed over one of his fists. He allowed himself to relax into his restraints. There was something so familiar about the touch. Like it knew him. He slowly opened his eyes, and was rewarded with the face of a very concerned Natasha Romanov.

**"What happened?" Hawkeye asked her, relaxing his fist. **

"We lost you." she put it to him gently.

"Loki viewed my mind as his for the taking."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"You don't know what it's like to be taken prisoner in your own mind. To have someone else dictate every thought and action for you." Hawkeye said, vehemently. "It's like losing your mind without the bliss of being unaware of it."

"You know more than anyone else in the world that I know exactly what it's like." Natasha said reproachfully.

"I'm sorry. Of course you do. I'm just so confused." Hawkeye moved to cradle his aching head in his hands, forgetting that he couldn't.

"Here." Natasha moved to release the clasps keeping him contained, but his voice stopped her.

"No." Instead, he captured one of her hands in his, intertwining his fingers with hers. "What if he still has some hold over me? As I woke up just now, I felt panic. I can't remember the last time I felt panic. I don't know that I ever have. I know that Loki has. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you."

"You really think I'm going to let you?" Natasha smiled wryly. A ghost of a smile crossed Hawkeye's face for a moment. Natasha sat down on his lap, and he winced slightly. The pressure of her weight pressed on injured legs, and she started to stand when she realized that it pained him.

"Stay." One word, and she knew that it would be okay. She leaned against him, and he took comfort in the movement.

"I was afraid I would never see the real you again." she admitted.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You had no choice."

"I'm still sorry." he kissed her gently on the cheek that was facing him. She turned her head and returned the kiss.

"I love you." Hawkeye looked Natasha straight in the eye. "I always have and I always will. Inside my mind, I was afraid I wouldn't ever get the chance to tell you."

"I...don't know what to say." Natasha said, quietly.

"Oh." he said awkwardly. "I guess we don't feel the same way."

"I've made it a point for years not to feel." Natasha said, standing up and distancing herself from him. "This was just a slip up. I was concerned for you. Fury would have a field day if I told him-"

"That's all this was? A slip up? How come I feel like that's just not true?" Hawkeye demanded.

"I should just leave you here. Uncuff yourself. See if I care." Natasha spat out, moving past Hawkeye towards the door.

"You do care." Hawkeye's words stopped her in her tracks, and for a moment she resented that he had such a hold over her. She didn't like feeling like someone cared for her. It made it that much harder if they were ever hurt. "I know you care, Natasha. Please come here."

She walked back over to him and sat opposite from him. He stretched his arm through the cuff as far as he could, in an effort to grasp her hand. She released his cuffs without ceremony.

He leaned forward and pulled Natasha toward him. "What are you doing?" she asked him.

"Something I should have done a long time ago."

Then he kissed her. It wasn't a regular kiss, and it was certainly the first that either had had that was not part of a deception or distraction. It was the kind of kiss that sets the world to rights, and the kind that tales are written about.

"I know that this scares you." Hawkeye said. "I know that you hate feeling scared. But sometimes you just have to let yourself feel. Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do." she nodded.

"Do you know that I will never leave you alone?"

"Yes."

"Do you know that you mean the world to me?"

"I do." Natasha nodded. "Is it my turn for a question?" Hawkeye nodded. "Do you know that I love you, too?"

Wordlessly, he stood, and she stood to meet him. He wrapped her in a warm and secure embrace. "I know." he smiled. "I know."


End file.
